Beavis and Butt-head Valentines Day Boxer Shorts

Love advice. Something Metalheads can use A LOT. We are not known for being the most lovable creatures in the world. While Glam Metal may have given us an idea of what love is, it definitely falls short of the mark needed to make the impact on the opposite sex as donning yourself in ladies makeup and sparkling pink spandex will not win over the gals in the "2010's".

So what's a Metalhead to do when the only extensive database of love is from an outdated subculture extinct since the 80's? Go to the 90's and seek advice from the next best experts in Metal romance; Beavis and Butt-head.

With slogans like "Hey baby", "come to Butt-head" or "boioioioing!!!", these 2 have mastered the feat of attracting women (at least by Metal standards as they managed to go up to women and speak with them. That's leap and bounds ahead of what the average Metal fan can accomplish), they are Heavy Metal's standard of handling the opposite sex.

To commemorate this evolution in Metal love, Target has provided the perfect attire if in the event we manage to evolve past the stage of just talking to women. Boxer Shorts.

Introducing the Beavis and Butt-head Valentines Day Boxer Shorts.

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Beavis and Butt-head Cornholio Shirt

Beavis and Butt-head. The 2 wise men of Heavy Metal. While both are needed to make the magic known as "Mtv's only good offering", sometimes they needed to be split in order for each one to hold his own weight in the challenges they faced during their misadventures.
To pick which one was better suited to fly solo would be picking apples and oranges, but if one had to be chose, it would have to be Beavis. Beavis was the slightly dumber one of the two, but while his stupidity was a weakness, his luck and charm as the counterweight to the disadvantage.

It also helped Beavis when his "Mr. Hyde" surfaced (with the encouragement of sugar based food and beverages), hence adding a second man to his solo routine.

To honor his deep end alter-ego, Target offers the Corholio T-shirt.

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Skull Bottle Opener

Say what you will about Target and the people who shop there, but one cannot deny their Halloween section is amongst the best "brick and mortar" stores have to offer.

I for one have made many treks to Target to find plenty of Halloween items that are Metal worthy, as well as the occasional "real life" necessities.

Today we look at an item that is practically a mandatory possession to have in a Metalheads person at all time. The bottle opener \m/

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Skeleton Hand Oven Mitt

Cooking. Until recently, was seen as the way "civilized people" eat. We Metalheads prefer to eat our meals when it's alive ( \m/ ), and while this might be against the law (covering the gamut from animal torture to murder), we needed to evolve from the way we eat.

These days, we have evolved (though once in a while we prefer to do it zombie-style) to the point where we have our own approach to a meal.

With any evolution, comes the eventual tools to make it happen, and even on a subject like cooking tools are ever more important.

Introducing the Skeleton Hand Oven Mitt.

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Papyrus Biker Jacket Birthday Card

Birthdays. Not exactly the most Metal thing to celebrate. In recent years, birthdays have started to become more "Metalized", as in house parties where Cannibal Corpse/Keator/Primal Fear/Marduk/etc. are blaring through the mega-sized living room speakers instead of the usual rap music/house/reggaeton/pop music/insert name of crappy genre of music here/etc. of a bratty tweenster. As with the appropriate choice of music, Dethklok some years ago released a song called "Birthday Dethday" which gave Metalheads of the world a birthday song worthy of our sonic lungs to scream in celebration of a friend/family member/pet/random person/etc. achieving their closer moment to death. Talk about looking at a birthday morbidly.

Aside the usual fare of birthday activities, atmosphere, music, food, and so forth, there is one item that puts the exclamation point in any birthday. The birthday card. While it's one thing to say "happy birthday" verbally, it's a whole different animal when you show in physical form the saying "happy birthday". There are many birthday cards out there, but there is only one that can give the Metalhead a true way of delivering the message. Introducing Papyrus Biker Jacket Birthday Card.

As you can see, the details in this card really give it the extra nudge for making it a very Metal birthday card.

The envelope that came with the card was not spared the Metal treatment as it basks in gray glory.

The inside color of the envelope comes in the color of the standard issue uniform of the Metal Military...Black.

The card has multiple pages in case you want to do the following:

A) Write a bunch of band logos like you did in Middle/High School.

B) Write the Saga of the Icelanders.

C) Have a bunch of people sign it like it was a school yearbook from your early days as a Metal Legion (that is, if you had any friends to begin with, as "Troo" and "Kvlt" Metal fans do not have any).

The obligatory card company's generic imprinted message for those who don't have a thing to say. Papyrus was really going for the anti-social audience with this card. Maybe they have a very good understanding of their customers.

We now get to the meat and potatoes of this cards appeal to those who wear the "Denim and Leather". The front of the card is a real eye catcher, as it captures the details of what is an obligatory piece of armor Metalheads need to have. From the faux-pas leather, to the zippers (they actually go up and down). As for what's inside the jacket, just dry glue.

Overall, a great item for Metalheads to give to fellow allies on the day we were brought into this evil world that needs to be conquered by the Dark-Clad Knights of Steel.

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Beavis and Butt-head Sleepwear Collection

I want to mention something very important before proceeding to tonight's post. I want to say thank you to everybody for being patient with me while I was trying to get back to the norm of things as being without a car for well over a month has really hindered my ability to do much with Channel 13 and Wackentrek. My weekends were filled with car shopping that took a lot of time and taking public transportation to get around as well as tending to a school project did not help my case one bit. Now that I have a car, things should be getting back to normal. To reward you for your patience, here are 3 new posts for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy it \m/

Okay everybody, say it together now: "Huh-huh, huh-huh, huh-huh", "Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh". With these words, 2 ancient and wise beings came to be in a saga that very few tales can rival, and that saga is the Beavis and Butt-head TV show.

In the world of Heavy Metal, never has there been 2 individuals who approached the music with such passion and "to the point" accuracy, and with words such as "this rules" or "this sucks", their message could not be misconstrued on how awesome or shitty something/everything is.

When the TV show had it's first run, little did anybody knew at the time how vital and important the show would be to the decade known as the 90's, when all that was Metal was at its lowest point, as well as defining that decades few good contributions to the world.

When the show ceased to exist in the late 90's with the aptly titled "Beavis and Butt-head Are Dead", came the end of a great era of television and one of the last "good" shows Mtv has ever delivered to the world. And for those of you who say Headbangers Ball was an excellent show, all I have to say "That sucks, huh-huh. huh-huh".

Zoom forward 2011, Beavis and Butt-head are now on a ultimate comeback of the likes of which that has not been seen since the release of Iron Maidens Brave New World album and Fear Factory's Archetype album. And with their recaptured popularity comes the inevitable schwag everyone wants to sell.

Thanks to Walmart and Target, we have the Beavis and Butt-head Sleepwear Collection, and if I made it sound like something from a Macy's catalog, than you are correct.


First item up on this fashion show is the Beavis and Butt-head "Uhhh...Mustaches Rule!" shirt. Picked it up at Target on a goofball impulse during one of my escapades for Frito Pies, this shirt pays an unintentional homage to the Pringles chip guy.


Next up is the Beavis and Butt-head polyester lounge pants. The pants look like one those New York style block painting with the faces on them, making it the most artsy item of the lot we have here.


One thing about these pants is they don't skip on the details when it comes to all the space they used to make these pants happen.

On a value note, I managed to pick up these pants at Target on clearance at the most epical price of $5.08 (from $16.99). If there ever was a sale that epitomized METAL bargains, this is it.


Coming down the runway, we have the Nachos Rule! lounge pants, paying homage to one of the Metalheads choice snack. Managed to snag these at Walmart while looking for said snack.


A side note, seems the duo went to the Metalheads Mission Festival and forgot the sun lotion, but at least are proud enough not to let a bad sun tan stop 'em from headbanging \m/


Like with the aforementioned artsy lounge pants, these were no exception on the details.


The following is what you call the "heavy artillery" of this line of sleepwear, as we are now entering a whole new level of Metal greatness with the "BREAKIN THE LAW!" lounge pants. Note, and for those who don't know, the chant "BREAKIN THE LAW!" is more than just a Beavis and Butt-head slogan, it's a Metal chant that has served the Legions for many years.


Look, let me come clean, it's the little "Beavis and Butt-head" tag that has been getting my attention with these lounge pants I have been writing about for the last hour or so, which is a very Metal tag.


The following boxer shorts is what we call "The Ultimate Tribute" to Heavy Metals 2 wise men, as these boxer shorts take one of the most memorable scenes from this great cartoon and immortalized it as fashion under the "Denim and Leather". Introducing the Beavis and Butt-head allover boxer shorts.


As with the aforementioned tags, this garment takes it to volume 11 by making it bigger and smack in the middle, where it belongs.


And here we have a pricing tag which makes for a perfect cubicle mini poster. It's called making the most out of little or nothing.


Now, you ask, how much more Metal can these shorts be? When you have the iconic Beavis and Butt-head "face off" on your ass, this piece of fabric is also worthy of the Metal Gods themselves.


For those who know where we are going next with this fashion show, I introduce to you the most Metal Beavis and Butt-head shirt ever to grace this mortal realm. Introducing the "BREAKIN THE LAW" shirt, with the Iron Maiden font type emblazoned to cover this chant in it's steel glory.


The interesting part is that this is the only shirt from Walmart any self respecting Metal fan will wear at a concert.

I feel the best way to end this is to have a sing along to one of Heavy Metals most influential songs, "Breaking the Law". All together now:

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
all inside it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town
feel as though nobody cares if I live or die
so I might as well begin to put some action in my life

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

So much for the golden future, I can't even start
I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart
you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue
if you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

You don't know what it's like.....

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law......

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Skull Shakers

Salt and pepper, 2 basic spices every household needs. From the dawn of modern culinary applications, spices are an essential necessity if you want to cook a meal properly, or at least to mace a injection of taste to the meal.


Today we look at dispensers of the aforementioned common spices which allows one to sprinkle on French fries in a very Metal way. Of course, the next pic shows how boring it is to throw some salt on the fries with a plain jane shaker. Notice how unMetal this course of action, with it's lack of life, excitement, and Heavy Metal greatness.


Once again, thanks to Targets seasonal section during the Halloween era of 2011, we have the Skull Shakers, and as you can tell from the pics, these are very awesome tabletop decorations that double as the salt and peppers launch base.


They had these in 2 colors, black and silver (Heavy Metals colors \m/), and I managed to pick up the black ones since they had a very Metal appeal to it. Think about it, dark skulls, meaning, the individual must have been evil down to the bone.


When you buy shakers, it seems the golden rule of thumb is to procure them in 2’s since anyone who only has one spice and not the other is either nuts, or has a misfired piston in their noggin.


To load these shakers with said condiments, you have to go beneath them and find the bunghole.


These salt shakers are a very Metal manner to spice up some fries \m/

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