JSR Direct Christmas Sale

Christmas. Not exactly the most Metal of holidays, but Legions of the world can try and make it a very HEAVY season. Today we look at one aspect that makes the holiday season a special one, even for the Worthy, the major sales happening around this period of time. Introducing JSR Direct Christmas Sale.

As before, JSR Direct had a killer 1 - 2 combo that will make the Street Fighter games of yesterday look like a retirement square dance. First, JSR Direct decided to have a sale on accessories. Second, they offered free shipping on one day, December 16, which meant the countdown to a money saving, stocking stuffer, under-the-tree bargain bonanza began. Note the list is arranged by price from least to greatest, as it is a HEAVY list of METAL!


First up is the least expensive item of the lot, a Robot Chicken sticker. The sole purpose of it's purchase, it's a damn good sticker for a damn good TV show.


Next up is the Blind Guardian wristband, for those days when you're going to shred in intercontinental distances.


Next up is the Swashbuckle flask, as pirates are known for transporting the rum to far off places, so should Metal fans.


The best part of this purchase is that now I have 2 sizes to choose from when it comes to flasks, in case the situation of alcohol transportation requires either size or stealth.


Belt buckles are known to be used by Metal Legions to enhance the statement of "THIS BAND ROCKS", and very few can match Kreators titan sized sound.


To continue the "Onslaught" of the previous Invasion of the Wicked Horde, we have 2 kickass shirts that missed the first boat to my house, but caught the second vessel leaving the JSR Direct port.

First up is Iced Earth's Overture of the Wicked shirt. As basic of a shirt as it is, I'll be the first to admit the impact is very Titanic.


It is only fitting to follow the shirt that is based on the EP with the full length album that followed it, Iced Earth's Framing Armageddon: Something Wicked Part 1 shirt.


Now, and to take a Napoleon Bonaparte quote, "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake". The enemy in this case is "the price of the grand total". Typically, this enemy's ultimate goal is to hurt and/or kill your wallet, and in this sales case, the enemy has made an error by granting so much by allowing so little to compensate for it. And being the opportunistic General/Admiral/Air Marshall/some high ranking loon/etc in the military, I decided to purchase a hoodie with this bundle for the upcoming 2 hours of winter Miami is known for getting. Mind you, the hoodie is not part of this sale, but definitely worth mentioning.

The hoodie is Amon Amarth's Viking in Throne surrounded by wolves and skulls. If there ever was a throne fit for Metal Kings and Queens, this is it.


The best part about this hoodie is the details involved, as they are amazing and they used a good chunk of the space available.



Here's a list of the items I procured without the sale price tag and without the free shipping:

Robot Chicken Sticker: $1.00 (Approximately)
Blind Guardian Wrist Band: $7.00 (Approximately)
Swashbuckle Flask: $10.00 (Approximately)
Kreator Belt Buckle: $20.00
Iced Earth Overture of the Wicked Shirt: $15.95
Iced Earth Framing Amraggedon: Something Wicked Part 1 Shirt: $15.95
Amon Amarth Hoodie $42.95
Shipping: $20.79
Grand Total: $133.64

So now you're wondering if this was a sale, what was the final tally? Here's the breakdown.

Robot Chicken Sticker: $0.50
Blind Guardian Wrist Band: $1.00
Swashbuckle Flask: $3.00
Kreator Belt Buckle: $5.00
Iced Earth Overture of the Wicked Shirt: $7.95
Iced Earth Framing Amraggedon: Something Wicked Part 1 Shirt: $7.95
Amon Amarth Hoodie $42.95
Shipping: Free
Grand Total: $68.35

The holidays have been good to me \m/

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JSR Direct Iced Earth Sale

JSR Direct, one of the most important Metal merchants on the web. For those of us who don't have the convenience of having a certain scenester store in the confines of a huge mall, there is always internet based stores to help us replenish our uniforms. Typically, they sell merchandise Metal legions actually want rather than the flavor of the month the aforementioned scenester store offers.


Today's posts brings you something called value.


To honor Iced Earth latest album Dystopia, JSR Direct decided to hold a sale to move some items from inventory to make way for the new schwag.

I purchased 2 shirts, a sweater, a keychain, and a flag, so I can put it on my motorcycle and let everyone know who is the most kick ass band in the history of the known and unknown world.


Keep in mind, if I had to purchase these items before the sale, it would have costed me $99.32 ($15.95 for each shirt (x2 = $31.90) + $42.95 for the sweater + $3.95 for the key chain + $4.95 for the flag + $15.57 shipping = $99.32) for everything. By the end of this post, you will understand why it was granted access to the halls of Channel 13.

The first shirt is Set Abominaes head blown up in glory detail to showcase the world a mascot that can destroy other mascots, with the exception of Eddie (of Iron Maiden, which cannot be destroyed at all).


The second shirt showcases Set Abominae going through the 3D glasses effect.

When was the last time you saw the word "FUCK" in a Iced Earth shirt?

The next item on the shopping list was the Iced Earth sweater from the Framing Armageddon album. I have (among many) a funny story about this sweater. I went to ProgPower 8 when Iced Earth played the festival for their first time, and I saw these at the vendor section, and I bought one. On the day I left for the Airport in Atlanta, I noticed the sweater had some kind of damage on the bottom part, like it was caught on fire. So much for a refund.


The next item I ordered was the Iced Earth flag, and as with any other country, the Iced Earth nation has a flag to look up to.


The final item to fill the basket was the Iced Earth Keychain. I figured since I am ordering all these goods might as well throw it in to the foray.

Now for the $666,666 question, if there was a sale on these articles, what was the final tally? Here's the rundown:

Set Abominae Rising Shirt = $7.95
Set Abominae in 3D Shirt = $7.95
Framing Armageddon Sweater = $6.95
Flag = $4.95
Keychain = $3.95
Shipping = $15.57
GRAND TOTAL OF EPIC GLORY = $47.32

And if you need proof, here's the screenshot of my order on the JSR Direct website:


For less than a hoodie on another Metal Web Merchant (minus shipping) I managed to snag all of these items.

As of this post, the sale is still raging, but as with anything else (especially merch), supplies limited, so get to it, this is Heavy Metal value at it's finest.

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