JSR Direct Christmas Sale

Christmas. Not exactly the most Metal of holidays, but Legions of the world can try and make it a very HEAVY season. Today we look at one aspect that makes the holiday season a special one, even for the Worthy, the major sales happening around this period of time. Introducing JSR Direct Christmas Sale.

As before, JSR Direct had a killer 1 - 2 combo that will make the Street Fighter games of yesterday look like a retirement square dance. First, JSR Direct decided to have a sale on accessories. Second, they offered free shipping on one day, December 16, which meant the countdown to a money saving, stocking stuffer, under-the-tree bargain bonanza began. Note the list is arranged by price from least to greatest, as it is a HEAVY list of METAL!


First up is the least expensive item of the lot, a Robot Chicken sticker. The sole purpose of it's purchase, it's a damn good sticker for a damn good TV show.


Next up is the Blind Guardian wristband, for those days when you're going to shred in intercontinental distances.


Next up is the Swashbuckle flask, as pirates are known for transporting the rum to far off places, so should Metal fans.


The best part of this purchase is that now I have 2 sizes to choose from when it comes to flasks, in case the situation of alcohol transportation requires either size or stealth.


Belt buckles are known to be used by Metal Legions to enhance the statement of "THIS BAND ROCKS", and very few can match Kreators titan sized sound.


To continue the "Onslaught" of the previous Invasion of the Wicked Horde, we have 2 kickass shirts that missed the first boat to my house, but caught the second vessel leaving the JSR Direct port.

First up is Iced Earth's Overture of the Wicked shirt. As basic of a shirt as it is, I'll be the first to admit the impact is very Titanic.


It is only fitting to follow the shirt that is based on the EP with the full length album that followed it, Iced Earth's Framing Armageddon: Something Wicked Part 1 shirt.


Now, and to take a Napoleon Bonaparte quote, "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake". The enemy in this case is "the price of the grand total". Typically, this enemy's ultimate goal is to hurt and/or kill your wallet, and in this sales case, the enemy has made an error by granting so much by allowing so little to compensate for it. And being the opportunistic General/Admiral/Air Marshall/some high ranking loon/etc in the military, I decided to purchase a hoodie with this bundle for the upcoming 2 hours of winter Miami is known for getting. Mind you, the hoodie is not part of this sale, but definitely worth mentioning.

The hoodie is Amon Amarth's Viking in Throne surrounded by wolves and skulls. If there ever was a throne fit for Metal Kings and Queens, this is it.


The best part about this hoodie is the details involved, as they are amazing and they used a good chunk of the space available.



Here's a list of the items I procured without the sale price tag and without the free shipping:

Robot Chicken Sticker: $1.00 (Approximately)
Blind Guardian Wrist Band: $7.00 (Approximately)
Swashbuckle Flask: $10.00 (Approximately)
Kreator Belt Buckle: $20.00
Iced Earth Overture of the Wicked Shirt: $15.95
Iced Earth Framing Amraggedon: Something Wicked Part 1 Shirt: $15.95
Amon Amarth Hoodie $42.95
Shipping: $20.79
Grand Total: $133.64

So now you're wondering if this was a sale, what was the final tally? Here's the breakdown.

Robot Chicken Sticker: $0.50
Blind Guardian Wrist Band: $1.00
Swashbuckle Flask: $3.00
Kreator Belt Buckle: $5.00
Iced Earth Overture of the Wicked Shirt: $7.95
Iced Earth Framing Amraggedon: Something Wicked Part 1 Shirt: $7.95
Amon Amarth Hoodie $42.95
Shipping: Free
Grand Total: $68.35

The holidays have been good to me \m/

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Fisher Price Tough Trike Harley Davidson Edition

The biker culture. As Deena Weinsteins book “Heavy Metal: The Music and Its Culture” indicated, half of Metals fashion and attitude comes from Harley riding maniacs, and if you take a look at our patch & pin infested vests and our anti-social behavior, the evidence is crystal clear. The other half is from hippies (The fact we can listen to Metal for hours straight without the need of refueling, the long hair, and the choice of drug amongst Metal fans is weed (Side note, I know this is debatable, but if you have gone to plenty of Metal shows, you‘ll know exactly what I am talking about.), we can see how our society came to be.

Todays post is about our future, the Children of Metal. While kids may be too young to ride a full size motorcycle, we can definitely inject that feeling at a very early age without resorting to needles with the Fisher Price Tough Trike Harley Davidson Edition.


The recommended age for this trike is for kids between 2 to 5 years old, so you can definitely get a good solid 3 years out of it before graduating them into regular bicycles.

The trike features some HEAVY tires and even a storage area.


The best part about this trike is that it looks very Metal, and definitely grabbed everyones attention with the Harley orange and black call sign emblazoned all over it.

The bad part, you have to assemble it, but it’s not as bad as it seems. If anything, you’ll feel like you’re re-enacting the scene from Brütal Legend when Eddie builds the Killmasters Trike. Talk about a Metal inspiration for a build.


On second thought, I take it back. The march to a Metal Christmas begins. Here are the parts.

Than there’s the manual, nothing too complicated, but than again, assembly required.

The process begins by attaching the seat to the body of the trike.

Place the rear tires to the body. A side note, this was the toughest part of the whole endeavor.

Next was inputting the pedal hubs on the front tire.

Than connecting the fork with the front tire.

After completing the front part of the trike, it came time to attach it to the body and place the handlebars.

Finally, it was sticker time.

So your wondering, with all the goods I buy for this blog, what could a man 25 years too old for a Tough Trike can do with an awesome gift of the Metal Gods? Give it to his nephew as a Christmas present.

Since this is a very Metal gift to give to a very awesome kid, I needed a very Metal Christmas gift wrap. Since I didn’t have any skull/iron cross/pentagram gift wrap, I had to go with the next best option, the Wacken Open Air Beach Towel I procured from my previous trip to drape the gift.

I will say that when the blanket was lifted and the Tough Trike was unveiled, he was as happy as one can be and looks like it was the best gift he got for this Christmas.
So what was the finally tally to bring a Metal Christmas to a very lucky nephew, $19.99 plus taxes.
Looking back, I am glad I got this for my nephew, as it definitely made my holidays and added to a very Metal Christmas.
Merry Christmas and a Happy and HEAVY New Year everyone!6!6!6!

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