SLOGAN

BEYOND THE BANDS. BEYOND THE VENUE. BEYOND THE MUSIC. THIS BLOG BRINGS FORTH ALL THAT IS METAL.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Bell Rock N Ride Bucket Seat Cover

Cars, a machine that is a necessity due to what it accomplishes, getting people and things around to places. From the dawn of the vehicles first appearance in the world, they have "Transformed" this world in ways no other technology has accomplished since the boat (And I mean Viking Ships, since they are METAL!).

As time progressed, cars started having a character of their own, with many companies being formed to make said vehicles. And like with Heavy Metal, many different classes and types of vehicles came to be. From compacts to suv's, to trucks and minivans, cars are the way people travel.

Today we look at something that helps Metal fans add the Metallic character to their vehicle. Introducing Bells Rock N Ride Bucket Seat Cover.


They made these for a bunch of bands, but we will look at their most Metal offerings, the Judas Priest British Steel and Ozzy Osbournes Diary of a Madman seat covers.

First one up is Ozzys, and from the looks of it, it seems they did a decent job making that album cover into a seat cover, with the strategically placed logo on the headrest portion.


Next, and the best for last, is Judas Priest seat cover. I can make a bunch of remarks indicating how Metal this is, and to twist an old saying, let the pictures speak the thousand words they can best provide.


For the record, the British Steel seat cover would look good on a Black 1981 Chevy Camaro in the Parking Lot of the Capital Centre. Just saying...
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Section 8 Judas Priest In Ear Buds

Headphones. A major evolutionary step the way Metal fans listen to music. By planting speakers directly into our ears, we managed to listen to our music with a direct and potent lethal shot, with the world taking 4th banana status to the music being played in our cerebrum.

The first time we utilized this accomplishment of technological advancement was by hooking them up in our stereo systems, getting on our bean bag chair, and spending the evening listening to the likes of Judas Priest, Iron Butterfly, Motorhead, Def Leppard and any other Rock/Metal bands from the mid 70's to about the early 80's.

Little did we realize at the time, this technology would lead us to the next major evolutionary step in our peoples listening habits, which was to take our tunes with us where ever we went (as long as the "AA" batteries didn't die out), and for those of you born before 1996, it was the cassette players that allowed our people to take our tunes in the train/bus/classroom/dinner with parents/etc.

One major ambassador of Heavy Metal, Otto Mann (of The Simpsons), was noted for wearing such a device 24/7 (except for a handful of moments in episodes where animation specification was the law and needed to have the headphones off). He would also wear said device while going to Spinal Tap Concerts and playing guitar solos to the children in the school bus, delaying their arrival and a resulting wedgie for the nerd who brought the tardy bus to his attention. METAL CLIFFNOTE: All the Hard Rock/Metal references surrounding his bio definitely makes him Springfields most Metal resident.

Today, we look at a creation that takes one of the Metalheads headgear and plunges it to the depths of hell just to resurrect it to headphones worthy of the Legions. Introducing Section 8 Judas Priest In Ear Buds.


Yes, the above pic is me attempting the British Steel album cover, but crooked for your viewing ease. I'm Breakin' The Law for all of you.


I managed to find these at my local Pepboys while buying a lockable gas cap, and they were quite a surprise find during a excursion for automotive parts. Sounds Insane, don't it?


So for those of you looking for a "Painkiller" of headphones, look no further than to the Priest In Ear Buds.

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Channel 13 Blog Syndication: Marshall Fridge (From One Million Beers For Metal)

First, just want to say many HEAVY THANKS to Kay Smoljak (of Enter the Goatlady fame) for granting me permission to re-post this article on Channel 13. This was first posted on One Million Beers for Metal and as you can see, this is a fridge that Metal fans and musicians alike can utilize. If you want to see the original post, it can be found here.


Being Aus­tralian, the idea that beer should only be served icy, icy cold is a con­cept close to my heart. It obvi­ously strikes a chord with the fine peo­ple at Mar­shall, mak­ers of the most metal of all ampli­fiers, because they’ve just released a very funky prod­uct with the tag line “the coolest icon in music just got cooler”: the Mar­shall Fridge.

Yep, you read that right: a refrig­er­a­tor dis­guised as a Mar­shall amp. It has the Mar­shall sig­na­ture, all the right logos and styling, and con­trol nobs that go to 11 — but open it up and it’s a 4.4 cubic foot capac­ity fridge/freezer with an Energy Star rating.

Sure, you could tech­ni­cally keep any­thing cool in there — cans of soft drink, water, your lunch — but I think we all know the only bev­er­age with enough cred to be stored in a Mar­shall is our favorite amber brew.

Accord­ing to the offi­cial web site, the fridge will be avail­able soon for the not-unreasonable sum of USD $300. They’re also run­ning a com­pe­ti­tion to give one away, so get in while you can!

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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Ed Force Ones Black Metal Sister Plane

Okay, this is the time where Metal fans are gonna make the impact we are all known for making.

Not since the time Richard Christy was voted to be Stuttering John's replacement on The Howard Stern Show has there been an opportunity for the Legions to vote one of our own into the limelight, and this time it is Black Metal's late legend Øystein Aarseth, aka Euronymous, with his mug emblazoned on one of Norwegian Air Shuttles plane.

Click here to vote. It is in Norwegian, but really, the only name you need to know is Øystein Aarseth.

Get to it and let's make history happen again.
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Nemesis Skull and Iron Cross Watch

"Time, what is time" as the great Blind Guardian once said, is something that we all only know in it's current state, moving forward and it's past, as in events that happened from a second ago to the millions and billions of years of the existence "we" know. Of course, if you have a souped up Delorean that does a special magic trick when reaching 88 miles an hour, than the time we know would be a waste of linear understanding.

For Metal fans, the only time we need to know is when the gig/Metal festival/party/renaissance festival/horror-sci fi convention/etc. starts, and this is where the fine folks at Nemesis Watches bring you their goods.


They have many to choose from, but as you can tell by the blog you are currently on, I decided to go with the most Metal offering in their armament, the Skull dial face and the Iron Cross band.


Mind you, this is not the way they originally offer it, as they have a equally kickass skull band that normally goes with this watch, but being the awesome folks that the Nemesis Watches staff members are, I decided on the Iron Cross band as anybody who knows me knows that the Skull and the Iron Cross are my 2 call signs, and mixing them together is like mixing 1 part Rumple Minze Schnapps, 1 part Yukon Jack, a splash of Blue Curacao all in a ice strainer with ice, shake it up, and serve and before you know it, you got the Screaming Blue Viking, a tasty beverage for the elite. And for the record, you must scream "VALHALLA" before consuming the Titanic drink of greatness.


The watch is extremely comfortable to wear, and the tone it exhibits is a HEAVY dose of Metal both literally and figuratively.


A watch like this would go perfect with Metal work shirts or even certain dress shirts that have the Metal factor "Running Wild".

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Driven by Refresh Backstage Passes Car Freshener

A Metal fans car can sometimes have objectionable odors emanating from it. From the stained nacho cheese dip molding from the Friday night joyride of years past, to the aroma known as "420", to the vomit from taking in too many cans of Budweiser (and this is not due to the volume of alcohol, we can handle the gallons, but rather due to drinking the wrong kind of alcohol.), the Metalheads car smell is one that is unwelcoming.

Every once in a while, we somehow-someway manage to find a moment to clean our car, and to match the ferocity of our music and it's culture, we now have the perfect item to enhance the experience of a clean car by placing the very last object every single car has when the job is complete. The car freshener.

Presenting Driven by Refresh Backstage Passes. A Metal way to say to the world that your car doesn't smell like crap.


They have a slew of other car fresheners, but today we focus on the most Metal of the batch. The 2 scents in question are Titanium Rain and Black Out, and if there ever was a way to make smelling good very Metal, here they are.

First up is Titanium Rain. I ask, if there ever was a planet where Metal is the law of nature, the rain would look like the aforementioned name of the scent.


The back of the package really exudes a Metal fans lifestyle, "Loud and Proud".


If I was to pick between the 2, I would say the scent Black Out is the more Metal of the 2. The reason? Black and gray with a pissed of skull looking right at you/your girlfriend on the passenger side seat/the driver in the next lane picking his nose/etc. Mind you, there is nothing wrong or less Metal with Titanium Rain, it is just like picking between the albums Painkiller and Screaming for Vengeance, 2 very awesome albums but if one had to be chosen, it would be Painkiller just because it is Priest at their HEAVIEST!6!6!6!


Now, it is time for the unveiling. First up Titanium Rain.


Here is Titanium Rain, adding to my cars Metal atmosphere (also known as the cassette adapter connected to my Ipod).


Next is Titanium Rains more evil twin brother, Black Out.


One of the best parts these car fresheners have is that they look like backstage passes that are issued to the few (or those who buy VIP passes and get to meet & greet their "Guitar Hero" for all of 15 minutes that is allowed in such engagements).


Here it is, scaring the crap out of my date. Notice she is not even in the car anymore.


To prove that these car fresheners look like backstage passes, I have made the executive decision to wear one at the expense of my ego.


Many HEAVY THANKS to Alfredo "the coffee slinger recorded on VHS" for taking this last minute pic on one of my many last minute goofball impulses I have every once in a minute or so.
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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Beavis and Butt-head Sleepwear Collection

I want to mention something very important before proceeding to tonight's post. I want to say thank you to everybody for being patient with me while I was trying to get back to the norm of things as being without a car for well over a month has really hindered my ability to do much with Channel 13 and Wackentrek. My weekends were filled with car shopping that took a lot of time and taking public transportation to get around as well as tending to a school project did not help my case one bit. Now that I have a car, things should be getting back to normal. To reward you for your patience, here are 3 new posts for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy it \m/

Okay everybody, say it together now: "Huh-huh, huh-huh, huh-huh", "Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh". With these words, 2 ancient and wise beings came to be in a saga that very few tales can rival, and that saga is the Beavis and Butt-head TV show.

In the world of Heavy Metal, never has there been 2 individuals who approached the music with such passion and "to the point" accuracy, and with words such as "this rules" or "this sucks", their message could not be misconstrued on how awesome or shitty something/everything is.

When the TV show had it's first run, little did anybody knew at the time how vital and important the show would be to the decade known as the 90's, when all that was Metal was at its lowest point, as well as defining that decades few good contributions to the world.

When the show ceased to exist in the late 90's with the aptly titled "Beavis and Butt-head Are Dead", came the end of a great era of television and one of the last "good" shows Mtv has ever delivered to the world. And for those of you who say Headbangers Ball was an excellent show, all I have to say "That sucks, huh-huh. huh-huh".

Zoom forward 2011, Beavis and Butt-head are now on a ultimate comeback of the likes of which that has not been seen since the release of Iron Maidens Brave New World album and Fear Factory's Archetype album. And with their recaptured popularity comes the inevitable schwag everyone wants to sell.

Thanks to Walmart and Target, we have the Beavis and Butt-head Sleepwear Collection, and if I made it sound like something from a Macy's catalog, than you are correct.


First item up on this fashion show is the Beavis and Butt-head "Uhhh...Mustaches Rule!" shirt. Picked it up at Target on a goofball impulse during one of my escapades for Frito Pies, this shirt pays an unintentional homage to the Pringles chip guy.


Next up is the Beavis and Butt-head polyester lounge pants. The pants look like one those New York style block painting with the faces on them, making it the most artsy item of the lot we have here.


One thing about these pants is they don't skip on the details when it comes to all the space they used to make these pants happen.

On a value note, I managed to pick up these pants at Target on clearance at the most epical price of $5.08 (from $16.99). If there ever was a sale that epitomized METAL bargains, this is it.


Coming down the runway, we have the Nachos Rule! lounge pants, paying homage to one of the Metalheads choice snack. Managed to snag these at Walmart while looking for said snack.


A side note, seems the duo went to the Metalheads Mission Festival and forgot the sun lotion, but at least are proud enough not to let a bad sun tan stop 'em from headbanging \m/


Like with the aforementioned artsy lounge pants, these were no exception on the details.


The following is what you call the "heavy artillery" of this line of sleepwear, as we are now entering a whole new level of Metal greatness with the "BREAKIN THE LAW!" lounge pants. Note, and for those who don't know, the chant "BREAKIN THE LAW!" is more than just a Beavis and Butt-head slogan, it's a Metal chant that has served the Legions for many years.


Look, let me come clean, it's the little "Beavis and Butt-head" tag that has been getting my attention with these lounge pants I have been writing about for the last hour or so, which is a very Metal tag.


The following boxer shorts is what we call "The Ultimate Tribute" to Heavy Metals 2 wise men, as these boxer shorts take one of the most memorable scenes from this great cartoon and immortalized it as fashion under the "Denim and Leather". Introducing the Beavis and Butt-head allover boxer shorts.


As with the aforementioned tags, this garment takes it to volume 11 by making it bigger and smack in the middle, where it belongs.


And here we have a pricing tag which makes for a perfect cubicle mini poster. It's called making the most out of little or nothing.


Now, you ask, how much more Metal can these shorts be? When you have the iconic Beavis and Butt-head "face off" on your ass, this piece of fabric is also worthy of the Metal Gods themselves.


For those who know where we are going next with this fashion show, I introduce to you the most Metal Beavis and Butt-head shirt ever to grace this mortal realm. Introducing the "BREAKIN THE LAW" shirt, with the Iron Maiden font type emblazoned to cover this chant in it's steel glory.


The interesting part is that this is the only shirt from Walmart any self respecting Metal fan will wear at a concert.

I feel the best way to end this is to have a sing along to one of Heavy Metals most influential songs, "Breaking the Law". All together now:

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
all inside it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town

feel as though nobody cares if I live or die
so I might as well begin to put some action in my life

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

So much for the golden future, I can't even start
I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart
you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue
if you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

You don't know what it's like.....

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law......
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