Tampa Bay, Florida. The Death Metal Capital. This location has given birth to a form of Metal that pushed the boundaries of our beloved music to intense territories never thought possible.
When you look at the quasi battlefield known as the sports-field, sometimes we need to be represented in order for our society to maintain our presence in arenas that are usually off-limits to our kind.
In the case of the Death Metal Capital, our 3 major fronts outside of our "normal" battlefield would be Football, Baseball and Hockey, and hence we have 3 teams "indirectly" battling for the honor of Death Metal (and the players pay check, let's be real here for a moment).
I would like to take this opportunity and bring forward a subject that has nothing to do with sports. If your wondering why the intro, it will all come together in one moment.
When talking about protecting the environment, sometimes people feel uncomfortable, not-at-ease, or just feeling guilty for not doing their part. While this feeling does occur to some, it does not necessarily have to be this way. All we have to do is do our part, and before you know it, the planet is save.
Also, and a word to those wacko-backo enviro-socialists. I am not some insane, law-passing bullying environmental nut-job. I am just a regular person who is trying to convince people to protect the environment without the coercion of government. I have no sympathy for your movement and your cause as it is done the incorrect way. Thank you.
I would like to introduce you the Tampa Bay Rays, Lightning and Buccaneers Reusable Tote Bags.
Now, for those of you wondering, how does this accomplish the saving of the environment, it's pretty simple. Every-time you do groceries, what does the grocery provide you to take those items to your car and ultimately, your home? Plastic bags that get used once and than thrown away. Here, we aren't utilizing the materials properly, as it creates waste on 2 fronts, the material needed to make the bag and ultimately the disposal of said bag.
With the Reusable Tote Bags, this eliminates both problems in one shot, and with the wide variety that is available and their affordability (these were selling at $1.99 each), you can't go wrong.
Since this is a Metal Blog, we will look at the most Metal offering, and this is where the 2 paragraphs from the beginning of this post finally come together.
First up is the Tampa Bay Rays Reusable Tote Bag. Not the most Metal team in this batch, since the colors don't harness the Heavy Metal Call Sign, and the mascot is not the most Metal creature in the planet, but at least it represents Tampa Bay in the Baseball Field, so there's your connection to the world of Heavy Metal.
The reason why I am showing the goods I bought yesterday is to give you an idea how much these bags can carry, and mind you they were not at full capacity. AUTHORS SIDE-NOTE: This is somewhat typical of a Metalheads diet, Fritos with Chili (& Cheese, to make Frito Pie, currently not pictured here and will be mentioned on a later post.), Store Brand-huge bag-money saving-similar to the more well known Brands-Cereal, Instant Rice with Canned Chicken, and some Green Tea. The Instant Iced Coffee is for my office, to make me look like one of my fellow co-workers.
Next, and a proper progression from the first item, is the Tampa Bay Lightning Reusable Tote Bag. This is Metal on multiple fronts. First, the teams symbol is lightning, one of the essential natural elements Metal needs to survive and create (try playing your electric guitar, bass and synthesizers without it, as for the drums, harps, flutes and bagpipes, that's a different story, but you get my drift.). Second, hockey is a sport where you really need to have a warrior mentality as you'll find yourself in a brawl faster than stomping a Nazi-Punks cranium in for just showing up to a gig. And third, the most obvious, representing our beloved city in the ice rink.
Now, I know what you are asking, what the hell am I doing with a plain looking belt. The fact I need one for my occupation as my previous belt is too big for the job needed. AUTHORS SIDE-NOTE: Additional items Metal fans need for their day-to-day use, from the Monster Energy Drinks to wake our asses off the bed and start the day "wired", to the Axe Deodorants and Manspray and it's purposes discussed many articles prior, to the Shaving Gel to trim the beard in the "right places" Corporate America deems necessary (a necessary evil), to the Oil Filter since Cars, like humans, need maintenance.
We have now made it to the headliner of the batch. This bag represents an "Alestorm" of HEAVINESS that really leaves you "Running Wild" for the shores in the hunt for buried treasure. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Reusable Tote Bag. The credentials for this bags Metalocity? The Red and Black attack, Heavy Metals twin colors that go like peanut butter and jelly (2 items I forgot to buy during my errands). Next, the Jolly Roger being waved by a Sword with a Menacing Skull and Cross-blades flying in the air in all its "Swashbuckle" glory. This team represents the Capital in the football field.
Now you ask yourself, what else does a Metalheads need in their groceries? From the essence known as food, to the basics of hygiene necessities, to automotive parts? Simple, the one remaining item we need above everything mentioned prior is booze. AUTHORS SIDE-NOTE: First up is Early Times Whiskey. For those of us working on a budget and still need something out of our beloved "dirty" spirit, Early Times gets the job done. Next is Straffe Hendrik Brugs Tripel Bier. Now if your wondering why I am not making this beer into a post, is due to the lack of Metalocity it has, but what it lacks in Metal it more than makes up for it in its taste and quality, and as expected from the beverages country of origin, Belgium (The beer capital of the world), excellence in brewing. Finally, we have Vikingfjord, and this is a beverage that will have a feature post here in the Halls of Channel 13 in its not to distant future. My original plan was to buy some Jack Daniels, but when I saw the VIkingfjord, I had to make a executive decision and go with "both" (as in taking a hit on the whiskey side) since I was attempting to experiment with some new booze. This is what you call stretching the dollar (what's left of its value).
Considering their size (6" Wide x 13" Length x 14.5" Height) and to show how easy it is to transport these Tote Bags, note how hey fold with the ease that has not been heard since the infamous "Smoke on the Water" intro note (AUTHORS SIDE-NOTE: This is mandatory knowledge expected from the Legions. There is no excuse for all you Metalheads not to know this riff).
If you want a Death Metal way to transport your groceries minus the blood and guts, here they are in their environmentally friendly way.
