Paper House Productions Guitar Magnetic Bookmarks

In the last 10 years or so, the Metal Fans reading armament has increased significantly with the likes of Lemmy Kilmister releasing his autobiography White Line Fever, Iron Maidens biography Run to the Hills, and Annick Giroux Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook. While these are just modern examples, there plenty of other books out there with the Metal subject taking even more space in the library shelves.

As discussed prior, since a Metal fans life can be busy at times (with all the concerts/festivals/house parties/traveling/working/studying/etc.), sometimes we need to put the book down in order to address these necessities.

But what is a Metal fan to do when there are so many books and trying to keep track of all the chapters? That's where Paper House Productions comes into the picture with their Guitar Magnetic Bookmarks.

I managed to pick these up at Office Max, and for about $2, you got a major bargain that is usually not seen these days.

We'll begin with the least Metal (or not Metal at all) guitar and progressively go from here so we can save the best for last. First up is the Fender Jaguar. This model is usually reserved for hipsters and greaser punks.

As you can see from the back of the bookmark, the magnets are there, and the magic trick they do to save your spot is very simple but "special".

Next on the list is the Telecaster model. Again, another instrument that is not so Metal, but at least it's a lot better than the Jaguar.

We now move into the serious territory as the next model is the all too familiar Stratocaster. This instrument is *almost* a required guitar to have if you are a electric guitar player. I don't have to go down the list of Metal musicians that at one time or another used this model, but just to be on the safe side, here are some of them: Adrian Smith, Dave Murray, Morgan Steinmeyer Håkansson, Ritchie Blackmore.

This is the headliner of the batch as we have the Jackson Dinky guitar. I call this the "AK47" of the electric guitar world as it is Jacksons most basic and widely distributed model, and all levels (from their J-Series to Custom shops, and everything in between) are reliable and of quality, the appearance of the guitar is ready to hit the stage regardless if it is wiped down or dirty and grimy, and extremely affordable (starting at $200).

Not that this was needed, but the instruction are printed in the back for the proper use of this device. As simple as pi (3.14159265359...).

A simple fold of the bookmark and the magnets lock the page in place.

For those who tend to complicate simple tasks, here is an example of how to utilize these bookmarks. First, grab your favorite book about Metal.

Second, read and when you are done reading, hold the page in place.

Third, place the bookmark on top of the page that needs to be saved for future continuation of the text passages.

Fourth, and the final step, close book.

To continue reading, just grab book, open to where the bookmark is safely holding your spot, and continue.

While as awesome as these bookmarks are, I'll be the first to admit that I wished all four bookmarks were Jacksons instead of just 1. Imagine it, you would have a Randy Rhoads, a Kelly, and a Warrior. While we're dreaming, we might as well dream a Jackson Guitars Death Angel as well \m/

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Wychwood Wychcraft English Blonde Pale Ale

Witchcraft. This is something some Metal Fans (especially the Black Metal Legions) have at one time or another "toyed" with the idea with varying degrees of success. Sometimes, the results leave the fans looking more foolish than normal (think about the King of the Hill episode "The Witches of East Arlen" where Bobby was hanging out with a group of "wizards" and was almost made to drink dogs blood), lots of dead animals (this is what you call roadkill without the vehicle), or some dead people (which the fans were foolish enough to get caught in the act).

Sometimes, these acts of Witchcraft were inspired either by stories of long ago, places that are unintentionally Metal, or by a night of hard drinking.

Todays post focuses on that night of hard drinking, but no regular booze will do the job needed to inspire the witch inside Metal fans. This booze will leave us Riding the Broomstick. Introducing Wychwood Wychcraft English Blonde Pale Ale.

As indicated before, Wychwood Brewery selection in the name for this beverage is not by coincidence as Witches (the real ones) are known to live in forests.

The double take, just to be sure of the type of beverage we are consuming.

The beer is a weird blonde pale ale as typically it is supposed to be smooth, but has a minor but good abrasive aftertaste.

This explains the abrasive part of the beverage.

The company has so far batted 2 for 2, and if I'm not mistaken, it's almost as if witches are running the brewery...

When opened, you will descend upon those who wronged you with the might of Mannon.

Mannon's rage knows no limit.

At 4.5% alcohol content, this beer won't knock you quickly, but then again, it might be going after the backdoor approach, as most witches are known for attacking from behind (the astral wall that is).

On a Metal sidenote, the company currently has a giveaway promotion called Full Volume. What is up for grabs are 3 guitars, one of which is very Metal.

To wrap up this post with the current subject, the beers quality is definitely on the "average" side of things, meaning it is not bad, but nothing special or out of this world. Than again, maybe the brewery needs to scale back the bat whiskers, troll teeth, rats head, and maybe it will have a better beverage.

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Tarnished Iron: Leander Games Megadeth Online Slot Machine

Megadeth. A band that was created from the ashes of spite and hate. Once a respectable name in Metal, now-a-days a laughing stock for all that is holy.

To give a rundown of Dave Mustaines credentials of being a unworthy swine would be like saying we need to go down Adolf Hitlers or Joseph Stalin resume of the type of individuals they were. But for the sake of having fun and adding some beef to this post, here are MegaDaves credentials of worst human being in the world:

- Talking a lot of shit regardless if he was coked/sauced up on the drugs/alcohol or in his current sober-religious state (Author message to Davey-boy: Dave, it wasn't the drugs/alcohol, it isn't Christianity/soberness, it is just plain YOU).

- Forcing the promoters and/or certain bands to drop/be dropped due to Mustaine not wanting to play with certain bands, knowing very well his decision was going to put those promoters and bands in the all too endearing aforementioned positions. (Author message to Davey-boy, part deux: If it wasn't for bands like Venom and Motörhead, you wouldn't have what you have today).

- Releasing horrendous albums (Authors message to Davey-boy, Part III, I6Z6A6N Takes Manhattan: Dave, just knock it off already, retire with the fortunes you have, and leave the world alone).

So why am I talking about someone, as Daffy Duck would say, despicable, as Dave Mustaine? Because todays Tarnished Iron brings forth what Dave Mustaine is, a raging hypocrite. Introducing Leander Games Megadeth Online Slot Machine.





Credit: Leandergames
To say that this is Dave Mustaine (and to a lesser extent, David Ellefson, the only person in the world with the uncanny ability to work with this jerk as long as he did) at their most hypocritical would be like saying it's easy to squash an ant, meaning, this is not too difficult to comprehend or understand what is going on here.

One aspect of Christianity, at least how it is taught to a lot of people, forbids gambling, and even though the aforementioned slot game has the option of "gamble-free", it still has the option to actually place monetary bets, which is where todays Tarnished Iron post bases its accusatory allegation of judgement, the fact this is making Metal look bad.

Congratulations Davey-boy, another feather in your cap of obnoxious insanity for the world to behold.

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Back-to-School Essentials for the Metal Kiddies

School. A place where learning is the endgame. These days, it seems schools have become more like kiddie prisons a la juvenile hall, instead of preparing kids for the inevitable future that is adulthood.

When you were in school, you customized your learning utensils (folders, pencils boxes, bookbags), and Metalheads were no different, except we knew how to customize our learning gear. The folders pencil boxes would be emblazoned with crudely drawn skulls, pentagrams, band logos, people we wanted to kill in stick figure detail etc. The book bag would have the usual dump truck load of patches/buttons/pins that would match the denim vest in terms of number and intensity.

This was then, when we needed to make our mark with what ever we had, as those days school utensil suppliers would make supplies very neutral and plain looking.

These days however, it seems the school supply depot has gotten a very serious infections of a virus known as "Metalus in Educatious Articlus", and today we take a look at their most Metal offering.

From Monster High we have the random but very Metal erasers for the lil ladies who need to correct the eventual errors they will encounter in mathematics.

Next are the Black Dice Pencil Sharpeners. There is a saying from a Simspons episode of yesterday that dices are evil and thus, why they are in this list. It also helps that they look like something that came out of a very Metal casino, if the players were the size of huge Scandinavian Trolls.

The obligatory dual holes of a pencil sharpener, aka the bungholes of death. A cliff note, from my days in elementary, this was always the case with 99.666% of pencil sharpeners I have come across, which is one of those elusive mysteries nobody seems keen in solving.

Next we have the semi-headliner of this post, and as aforementioned, sometimes Metalheads tend to customize their gear and this definitely helps, although that's not to stop a raging maniac from continuing the customization of their school supply. AC/DC's Back in Black notebook, for those days when you need to jot down what the teacher said in class and to help prepare for the upcoming exam and earn the grade that rings the "Hells Bells" of the principals office.

We have now come to the headliner of this post. Mind you, pencil boxes of yesterday were very simple and nothing to parade about. Every once in a while you might get a pencil box that had a Transformers or GI Joe on its cover, but nothing for Metal fans. This is where Vautlz comes into the foray and provides a pencil box that is worthy for those who need to put their pens/pencils/erasers/any other knick knack small enough to fit inside the box in question. Introducing Vaultz Pencil Box.

The details of this box is beyond amazing, it's like a guitar case (you know, the ones that can actually protect the axe from doom and destruction, or the airport luggage handlers) for pencils/pens.

The inside of the pencil box does not skip on the details and quality, and it is lockable, although that begs the questions what kind of goods a student from kindergarten to 5th grade will have in their possession to merit such a security feature?

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Hype Mini Stereo Amp Speaker

Amps. The deliverer of the sonic audio known as Metal. Without it, we would not have the sound our music is know for.

When setup in a certain manner, they look like a wall of death ready to blast your soul to hell.

Today we look at an amp that while may not destroy your audio receptors, it can still give your desk/office the feel of a concert minus the price of the ticket, the overcrowded venue, the smell of smoke and/or weed in the air, and the obnoxious background music in between bands sets.

Introducing Hypes Mini Stereo Amp Speaker.

One thing that can be said about this lil amp is that they did not skip on details, and at $10, its definitely a bargain for those who need to transport their music without the needed help of a group of roadies.

The only imperfection this amp has are the volume knobs, as none go to the crucial and important level of "11". Other than that, this amp has a lot going for it.

As for the sound, can't say since I didn't pick it up as I have plenty of portable speakers (one in my office and another for my many fishing trips) although looking back, maybe I should have since this lil amp has the Metal touch going for it \m/

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