Reels of Steel: Outlander, Part 5

…Continued from Part 4


As Kainan is holding on to the edge of the waterfall edge, he stares right at the Moorwen eye to eye before taking his sword and hacking the beasts arm off .


The Moorwen falls to her death in an epic glory of dropping into the waterfall.


Kainan and Freya go back to a dying Wulfrin who is happy to be king for a day, and passes the title and medallion to Kainan before the curtain of death dropped.



Kainan and Freya climb the ledge of land they were on to the top and spot the rest of the Vikings and hails them.


Kainan than tells Freya he must do something, to which Freya suspects he will be leaving them. Kainan returns to the crash site of his vessel and bids farewell to his dead wife…


…and goes to where the homing beacon is located and awaits the rescue ship with a spying Freya looking on.


Kainan, having doubts about being rescued and returning to his past life as a soldier, decides it is better for him to live amongst the Vikings, and proceeds to destroy the homing beacon.

In the end, Kainan becomes King of the Heorot Village, adopts one of the orphan children, marries Freya, and Rothgar and Wulfric are given a Viking funeral. All the while, Freya is narrating what is transpiring as if Kainan was one of the gods himself not knowing better Kainan is a space traveler, and acknowledging the secret that he is a god sent from the heavens.

Ironically, the dragons head of the ship looks like the head of the Moorwen that tried to kill all of them.

The movie ends with Kainan looking into the skies as a final farewell to his space traveling ways.

The End

This movie is extremely Metal, considering the pace, the storyline, the atmosphere, and the actors, this is a film that had a wealth of potential that unfortunately could not be realized due to Hollywood’s typical behavior of releasing shit films instead of quality movies.

The company that distributed this movie, Weinstein Films, released the awful World War II flick Inglorious Bastards (Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!) with a media blitz of aggressive proportions, but yet for Outlander they just gave up on the flick before it even had a chance to hit the theaters. To prove how bad the film did in the theaters, on the opening weekend it earned $59,581 (No, I did not leave “0’s” out, it literally did under 60 grand.) and earned worldwide a little over $6,000,000, with a budget of $47,000,000 to make the movie.

One of the many elements I liked about this movie was the shade of gray the characters had. For example, Kainan being a soldier who regrets the slaughtering of the Moorwen species for the purpose of his peoples land expansion, but yet resorting to doing the same course of action to save another group of people (And possibly even the planet.) from the Moorwen. There was Freya who as hot as she looked, could probably slam a guy through a table by either out drinking them or putting them through the table literally. Than you had the Moorwen itself who was just a unfortunate victim and survivor of a genocide that resorts to slaughtering for the right and wrong reasons, but seems to know what it was doing. Another element I enjoyed is the way how Kainan choose his words to describe everything to the Vikings without even dropping a hint that he is not from earth, with Freya narrating in the end still believing he is a great man sent from the heavens. Maybe Freya wasn’t that off the mark?6?6?6?

This film has a quality to the storyline I have not seen considering it was released in 2009 in the middle of the shitstorm known as modern Hollywood film making. Of the 99.334% of films made in the last 20 years, only 0.666% are either good or excellent, with the rest being total utter shit and Outlander is definitely in the top of that very short list of good and excellent films.

Also, if this film would have been better promoted and had better distribution in theaters, there probably would have been action figures released as well, and let me tell you, those toys would be featured in Channel 13 (\m/) in their Metal glory, I mean, who wouldn’t want a Moorwen action figure or the killer sword in plastic/Nerf material.

A film about Vikings encountering a spaceman and a dragon alien definitely stacks up as very Metal, and this film pulled it off excellently. Definite 2 \m/ Horns \m/ up for Outlander!6!6!6!

- I6Z6A6N

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Reels of Steel: Outlander, Part 4

…Continued from Part 3

With the weapons now made from the space material, Kainan and the rest of the Vikings decide to plunge into the village well and pursue the Moorwens and rescue Freya.


Freya wakes up amid the carcasses of the slain Vikings (This looks like something out of a Cannibal Corpse album and lyrics.) with the baby Moorwen chowing down on one of them (This looks like a Hypocrisy album coming to life.). Another side note about Moorwens I have observed they prefer their prey alive and kicking.


The baby Moorwen notices Freya and decides it wanted something a little bit more fresher than a Subway sandwich.


Meanwhile, Kainan and the Vikings are in hot pursuit in the caves leading up the Moorwens place of residency.


The baby Moorwen hears the noise of the pursuing Vikings and decides to chase them instead. Once he catches up to them, he nabs one of the Vikings and takes it to the cave of death (This would make a kick ass song title.) where the others pursue. Once there, another Viking tries to sneak up on the baby Moorwen, but the “Make noise to grab beast attention” happened and the baby Moorwen does short work of the Viking with the awesome mead container. Kainan than catches up and manages to whack his space age sword to the head of the baby Moorwen and splits it in half. Now, I hate to point minor discrepancies, but it looks like the baby Moorwen is coked up on cocaine in the next picture, or viewing the oncoming wrath of a Space Viking.


With the top portion of it’s head missing, the baby Moorwen escapes back into the cave of death and decides to kill/eat Freya, but with it’s eyes long gone, can only go by sound to locate its next prey.


As with the Viking with the animal mead container, Freya manages to step on something to “Make noise to grab beast attention” ordeal, and this time, the baby Moorwen just lunges at Freyas general direction and scratches the cave wall without a hint of an idea if it nailed it’s target or not while Kainan and Wulfric find Freya in the ordeal she is in and they try to squeeze her through a hole of the cave, but they can’t, and the baby Moorwen is on to the escape plan they are trying to execute. Instead of escaping, Kainan gives Freya his space sword and as the baby Moorwen makes another lunge at Freya, Freya hacks the baby Moorwens head off. This woman is a rad swords lady.


With the baby Moorwen dead, the mother Moorwen, who for all intents and purposes is just sleeping throughout the whole debacle (Maybe she had complete confidence in the baby’s ability to fend off intruders?), wakes up and realizes something is wrong.


The mother Moorwen approaches her childs lifeless carcass and gives the usual “mother in agony screech”, with a light show fit for a Heavy Metal stage.


Kainan, Wulfric and Freya manage to get outside of the cave only to find themselves on the edge of a waterfall.


The 3 decide to escape by going on the even smaller ledge of the side of the cliff they are on, which leads to Freya almost falling and hanging by a thread of an ounce of courage and hope.


While this is happening, Wulfric decides to fend off Mama Moorwen, which to no avail only adds to her dietary consumption of the day.


Of course, like any other Viking, Wulfric decides to go down with a fight by stabbing the monsters head until it decides to launch him onto Kainan. Kainan having no other choice but to leave Freya on the edge of the smaller cliff, decides to tend to Wulfric.


Kainan is now all that stands between the beasts goal of victory and defeat.


He decides to go after the monster back in the cave, and the monster, knowing full well who she is going up against, decides to play it smart and try to sneak attack Kainan instead of the usual brute force attack she implemented with the other Vikings. When the monster finally shows it’s face to Kainans blade, Kainan strikes at the monster with Freya spearing the monster multiple times, which makes the monster jump out the cave entrance and onto the edge of the waterfall, while holding on to Kainan and a Viking enraged Freya hanging on to Kainan for dear life.


Continue to part 5...

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