While the ranks of Metalheads are aware of the credibility that comes with wearing such wardrobe, every once in a while there is the encounter with an outsider who wears a Metal shirt due to the fashionable nature of such wardrobe (especially from the big box retailers a la Wal-Mart, Target and Kmart). While this can be quickly resolved with the word "poser" being shouted at such individual, today's posts involves a reputable individual from the enemy camp.
Tarnished Iron presents Kokon Tozai Spring Summer 2013 Clothing Line. I know this flew over your head, but if you look at your Facebook/Twitter/Random Metal website and-or blog on-or around May 17, 2013, the following picture was emblazoned on your smartphone/tablet/laptop/desktop and you either A) got a chuckle or B) got enraged (depending on the band shirt you are wearing at that moment).
This one picture is more than enough to get the Tarnished Iron credentials, but Channel 13 is about delving deeper into the "poser" infested oceans to bring you more of the horror that is "mainstream" fashion.
From left to right: 1) Jackets loaded with Metal Patches and Kilts are Metal like a bloody machete, but the baseball hat is killing the image of such wardrobe. 2) Dressing like Angus Young will always be kick ass, but this travesty of aborted fabric shows that modern fashion can ruin an iconic look. 3) I thought ravers died when we all said goodbye to the late 90's/early 00's. 4) Of all the articles of clothing this line has, this one is the closest that targets its intended audience, the rapper who needs to be loud by dressing all white. It helps that most people who chose this have the same, stupid chicken-head look on their face just like the manikin.
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Hockey. A sport that is Metal due to its intense nature (it also helps that the worst thing that can happen when players get involved in a fist-a-cuff is 2 minutes in the penalty). Anybody wearing these clothing should be on the receiving end of a goons bowling-ball sized fists. 5) This idiot looks like he's playing during a rain storm. 6) Every time I see this, I think about the "droogs" from Clockwork Orange. To be frank, I just insulted a masterpiece of social commentary cinema. 7) A reject from the movie Slap Shot. Hoping the Hanson Brothers lays a beat down on any schmuck wearing this atrocity. 8) See #7.
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This next batch proves devolution exists as the progress of stupidity can rise to heights never reached. 9) This is what you call a goth kid passing through a phase and evolving into the rap-phase. 10) This is the highest level of how mainstream fashion takes an iconic logo and transforms into a symbol of vanity. 11) The weakest member of the batch, Glass Joe can take this jobber down in one shot. 12) The raver joined a gym, and instead of working out, is listening to the nightclub music blaring out of the speakers while bouncing his head and flailing his arms with glow sticks while its 4:30PM in the afternoon and the sun is blaring down through the windows.
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This batch is all about why you shouldn't let the same person who dressed Kanye West pick out your clothing. 13) This idiot is making a mockery of the Road Warriors. The end result should spell out "Doomsday Device" on this pecker. 14) This trench coat is all about why one should get shot in "no mans land". 15) If Nazis were dressed like this, World War II would have ended much sooner. 16) If an Imperial Officer was dressed like this, Star Wars would be ruined forever.
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17) Captain Grid-Iron at a Cradle of Filth concert.
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Aren't you glad you dress yourself after Metal artists?6?6?6?
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